And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Holy shit dude........stairs
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
