I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
