Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
