in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
