you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
