I hate your face
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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