please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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