Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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