so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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