She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
