There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
