Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
