I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My vagina just recognized that song.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
