As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
