my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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