just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
