I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just pynch a tree in the face
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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