The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
