y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
