And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
