I got chris browned last night
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
