Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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