Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
