I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
