I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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