My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
