I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
