Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
