so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You can't just leave with hair like that
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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