I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize