I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize