i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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