therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
