me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
