life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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