Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
