Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
