My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
