I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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