I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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