ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
