i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
