The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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