I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
