I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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