The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
