A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize