? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
