Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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