his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
we made out on top of his cat.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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