farters have to be the big spoon...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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