Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
