the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
