question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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