Heybabeimwearingurpanties
from now on my penis is your penis
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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