they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
17 year olds will be the death of me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
