This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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