i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize