Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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