Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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