I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
