he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
