I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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