Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
