Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
