So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize