Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
