wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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