you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
