HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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